REAL TALK - How To Enjoy The Process Of Growth
Quite often I have those days where I repeatedly have to tell myself that it's fine to not have my whole life figured out. We are all guilty of pressuring ourselves to doing better, being happier, earning more money. We might love music, or love to write, but if we are not in a position where we are making money, we can easily convince ourselves that we're not succeeding. I do it everyday, and then have to remember when I dreamed of being where I am now. However, I am constantly meeting people who are travelling before they do their masters degree, or before they start a contract for a huge law firm; and it sometimes makes me doubt that I'm doing enough. Maybe it's a creative thing? So many creatives take a change in direction in their careers because what they love doesn't pay, and there's a constant pressure to conform and do a 'real job'. But who decided that success is defined by how much money you earn? No one, but we all let ourselves believe it.
One of the things I struggle with is worrying about what other people think. Because I'm in my mid twenties and I'm not CEO of a new business start up, but I'm travelling and writing that I'm being 'lazy'. And this goes for a lot of us; trying to figure out who we are at the same time as wishing it was all in place. I've realised recently through talking to different people various pathways in life, that actually, we're not necessarily afraid of seeking what we truly want, or afraid of being a failure. More so, its being afraid of what other people would think of them. This has been eye-opening for me, because I suddenly realised how often we limit ourselves based on other opinions, when actually they don’t always matter because they are not us. For me, this doesn't even mean limiting myself physically but more so mentally.
I was in a yoga class the other day, practicing Yin. If you haven't heard of Yin, it's a style of yoga which channels the deep tissues of the body, rather than the muscles. It requires holding poses for 3-7 minutes, which can sometimes be very unsettling and uncomfortable, but in the long run it's the best practice for increasing flexibility and opening up. Often the teacher will talk about "feeling safe" in Yoga, because only you can read your body and feel whether it's actually safe for you to hold a little longer, or push a little harder. What was bought to my attention the other day, is that when you're pushed to the end of your comfort zone, there's a very fine line between safety and stupidity. One of the biggest tests for our egos is pulling back and reigning in. We never feel satisfied unless we're doing better than yesterday, or the person on the mat next to us. The fact is, each day our body is different. One day you could be in a posture and feel like a super human, and the next day you're in exactly the same place but your legs are wobbling, you're cramping and next thing you know you've convinced yourself you're failing. Yoga is a huge metaphor of life. It's okay to think negatively, and be in a position that is uncomfortable, as long as you're aware that that is what you are doing, and you're not letting it define you.
It's very easy to get wrapped up in believing that we need to know what we we're doing with our lives, and feeling dented when we think negatively. So often this can cause us to lose sight in the now, and constantly worrying about the future means we've already skipped the present. Of course, we need consider the future to be able to create it, but the only way we can actually create is in the present. It’s okay to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life, and it's okay to give yourself time to grow, and evolve. You are more creative and feel more motivated and positive when your self-worth isn’t based on the amount of money you're making or how much you're 'succeeding' in terms of the norm. Be present and in reason enjoy the spontaneity of life. Sometimes it can be hard to alter your mindset, but there is a lot of joy to be taken from the process of growth. Though I’m still unsure of what my future looks like, I’m trying to relax and just enjoy the evolution . And while the uncertainty can be stressful, what I’ve discovered is this: you can water your garden everyday, but unless there is light, it will not blossom.